The Heart of the South

Linda D. sent a fun email about the South. Here's a cut right out of the middle:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Everybody knows, too, that the heart of a watermelon is the best part and we all want to get to the 'heart of a matter.' If you didn't receive the whole shebang, * email Linda for the rest.

* Known to go back at least to year 1862 (Walt Whitman), shebang is suspected to originate from the French word char-a-banc, which was a bus-like wagon with a lot of seats, but no specific connection has been proven as of now. Later, Mark Twain used it to describe a vehicle, as well as "any matter of present concern". (Wiki Dictionary definition)